This was written in loving memory of Jamie Senior 12-4-12.  

You will forever be adored, loved and missed.

Wishing to fly
This painful grasp holds me tight
I'm chained to this spot, the same spot
never changing or growing - though I keep fighting
Now I'm sinking down into my soul until there's nothing left
I hit the floor and the only place left to look is up, how did I get here?

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I'm not a bad person…

For some of us that's the thought that follows so many questions such as Why me? How could they? Why would they?

You are not a bad person, you are positive, you treat others well and expect it in return, but the fact is that none of that matters - not to those who wrong you. It doesn't matter whether or not you are a good person.  Whether or not you wouldn't do something to someone - it doesn't stop them from doing to you. 

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I didn't mean to, that I know for sure
What I thought I'd thought-out was oversight
Blinded by youth and comparisons of the unknown
What did I know? Then I'd say I thought it all
Now I know that I knew simply nothing at all
I left you all alone…. but I didn't mean to...

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Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Leanne Kallal from Tiny Buddha

“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

Have you ever stopped to think about your definition of fear?

As my dear friend Mr. Webster states, fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”

Simply put, I disagree with this definition of fear.

My definition of fear goes something like this….

“An opportunity for self discovery and self growth; a well of untapped personal power and strength; the gateway from wishing and wanting to doing and being.”

The truth is, for most of us, fear is present on a regular basis, but the form that it chooses to present itself in is constantly changing. Maybe you experience anxiety, a deep nervousness, confusion, lack of motivation, uncertainty, or something unidentifiable deep within.

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"The illusion of "I am that" holds many of us captive in prisons of our own making. In the struggle to define ourselves as individuals, we often paint ourselves into lonely and sometimes dangerous corners. Gender, sexual orientation, politics, religion, race - although we may belong to a particular group, it is the over-identification with that group that separates us from the next individual. We become stunted in growth when we cling to these outward labels". 

- F. Emelia Sam

Somewhere along the way…things evolved to fall into categories. Everything suddenly (or not so suddenly) had a title or a label with predetermined meaning. Instead of finding our own meanings we allow ourselves to believe in things which we are told the meaning of…including ourselves. When you stop and think about yourself…and what defines you, do you come up with labels like: Mother, Brother, Wife, Friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, Liberal, Conservative, Writer (or insert job title here), boss, assistant, poor, rich, average, etc?

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I'm the one you really want, but you just can't see it
I tried and tried to make you understand - won't believe it
It's a shame...
You missing out on a good thing,
It's a shame...
You can't see a damn thing.
What you so scared of me for?
I'm just a woman
Maybe I got it all together like you think maybe I do!
'Cause yo I'm fresh and cool!

I can fend on my own, I'm magnificent
I'm a Queen on my throne, I'm magnificent
I'm the magnificent (Say what? Say what?)
I'm the magnificent

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I was asked if I intended on blogging about my personal training sessions and body transformation.  Initially no, since I'm looking too much for a body transformation as I am for a healthy and fully functional body as I continue to age, I thought it would be boring to write about.  However, I didn't think about the motivational part of it.  This journey IS going to be filled with highs and lows which is what this blog is about anyway so here it goes...

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