EXceptional Friends

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I feel like this has been a consistent topic of discussion.  Can exes really be just friends?  I for one have always taken the stand of YES (depending on how it ended)…if things ended with mutual respect for one another then why not?!  After all you don’t just stop caring about a person you once loved because it didn’t work out romantically for the long haul right?

I know a lot of people would disagree with that all together and state that once you’ve had a romantic relationship then there is nothing to be had past that  - not friends, casual acquaintances – nada. I get it, I do, I get that is a difficult thing to do but I don’t believe that it just simply can’t be done.

I agree that there are many variables in involved, which result in whether or not a successful friendship will ensue.

You have to make sure both of you are clear on exactly why it ended and that a romantic connection can’t be revisited again.  Once a clear understanding is made THEN you can try for a friendship.  If there is any doubts on closure or confusion for either person as to why it ended, or if there could be something down the road, then a friendship will be unsuccessful.  Once those details were worked out, you will inevitably have run into the situation of your new ex-turned-friend dating and their new partner may have a problem with your friendship.  This is where things get tricky for me.  If the new partner becomes jealous or “uncomfortable” with the fact that you are friends with an ex then, in an attempt to keep our partner happy, we are willing to reign in our friendship with our ex or cut it off altogether.  Is that fair?  If the exes have already worked to clear the air and have succeeded in having a platonic friendship…why does the new person entering the picture change that? To me, it would seem there is no reason to give into to the new partners request to cut the friendship with the ex IF there is really nothing there.  I guess the question then becomes would you cut your friendship with a pal (who wasn’t an ex) if your partner had a problem with them or just didn’t like them?  If the answer is no, then I don’t believe it should be different for a friend who was previously an ex. If the answer is yes, then I believe you should really define what a “friendship” is to you. I for one would not like a friend like that in my life.

Again, I realize there are a lot of people who do not agree with this …and they are WRONG!  No really – the point here is there really is not a right or wrong point of view; it just depends on each individual situation.  For each ex looking to be friends they will have to define the relationship taking all of the above into consideration.  They will have to be honest with just how close of a friendship are they trying to have.  After all communication is the key to all relationships, right?  Be it a romantic one, a friendship or kinship.

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