I certainly don't want this post to come off as bashing (male or female), as that is not it's intention. However today I was discussing a few topics of irritation with male friends I am left with these new notions...
In the words of Ella Wheeler Wilcox:
"It is a common fate - a woman's lot - to waste on one the riches of her soul,
Who takes the wealth she gives him, but cannot
Repay the interest, and much less the whole.
...For if I seemed to love you less you would,
Manlike, I have no doubt, love me the more."
From the Poem - The Common Lot
Now as that was written in the late 1800s, it just shows us that things really haven't changed.
We are still living in a time when we all play games...men with women and women with men.
Sadly we are all a victim of our ego and pride...do we really WANT the people that we chase after? Or are we chasing after them for the mere pleasure of stroking our egos? To hinder or heal rejection?
The sad thing is that the constant back and forth will never get anyone anywhere so what is the point? From a woman's point of view:
We want to feel desired and wanted. If we are being pursued by someone who is showing true interest, and they are taking the time to get to know and understand us, then YES, we will eventually give in and let our guard down. However as soon as we do, the pursuer no longer finds "fun" in the status quo and then feels the need to retreat. As women, we are stunned as to what happened...because now it would seem as though when we are closed off - there is interest...when we open up and become vulnerable - they retreat. Rejection ensues, anger inevitably follows, and pain moves in. After a few quick "pick me ups" and words of encouragement from friends, we move on. But wait, as soon as we move on...here they come starting again...wooing with the intention of winning - but winning what? And so the cycle goes on...and on.
Now being a woman it is fairly easy for me to sum up that point of view and in the sake of fairness to the men I am trying to look at it from the male's POV (through guy friends of mine):
"Many, but not all, guys today are chasing after something that requires no commit, no sacrifice, and no effort because most relationships displayed on tv, music, or by their friends is built on sex and selfishness. Dating is almost an 'outdated' practice, but it is absolutely essential, even after a relationship has officially began. So many try to do things backwards...they want the goods, then attempt to have the talks and the dating, not in hopes of getting to know you, but in hopes of keeping the goods rolling in. When they tuck and run its because they're not used to being held to a standard or should I say a woman that got morals and respect herself and knows her worth. Bottom line is true courtship is played down in our world. And the physical, do what feels good to you even if its wrong attitude is praised. It is uncontrollable lusts, misunderstandings, and secret motives that come to surface after the phony has rubbed off. And again, not every male...but yes human nature of self gratification has overtaken some of the best of us at times (no excuse for that)".
I suppose the question of WHY is moot here but it would seem the answer is a simple one to me. To both men and women: If you aren't REALLY interested then let it go...OR communicate and just be upfront with your intentions from the get go (you'd be surprised how well that will work in your favor). Let's stop the game playing, and if someone does take the risk to let down their guard for you...don't return that grand gesture with fleeing at lightning speed.
Just think about it...we all play the same games, whether in intentional or not. However, imagine this, if we should STOP and become aware of our intentions and our corresponding actions, how much easier it would be for both parties!
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